A Voice To Be Heard!

…life, the way i see it and what i learn from it!

To all single sisters with love September 30, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 10:15 am


please read and enjoy this testimony I got from a site i subascribed to , I hope this will make someone smile today and help strengthen your faith ……God bless you

 Believing in the dream of marriage

by Kara Schwab

When I was about 10 years old, I used to dream about being married. I had it all figured out. I would get married when I turned 24. I would have four children — two boys, two girls. Of course, some days, that number would change, depending on the scientific experiment I used to look into the future. For instance, every time I ate an apple, I’d count how many times I could twist the stem around before it broke off. Whatever number I counted to would equal the number of children I’d have. Sure I got a little nervous on the days when I counted to, say 15 or 16 … but I had faith that it would all work out.

Of course, I also dreamed my husband would sweep me off my feet. (And I’m talking he would physically lift me off the ground and twirl me around on a daily basis, because he would be so manly and burly and strong.) We would sing songs by the fireplace every night after dinner — after we ate our chocolate cake — and then dance and dance and dance ourselves silly. This would happen every night until we both went to heaven.

When I was young I knew this would happen, just like I dreamed. It doesn’t hurt to dream, right?

Oh, the confidence of our youth
By age 23, I finally had my first serious boyfriend. He loved God, and liked me a lot. But after several months of dating, I noticed that his head seemed a little small for his body. This realization kept me up at night. I also discerned that his fingernails were a bit too long — even when he cut them — and that disturbed me. Not to mention, he was skinny, so I was pretty sure he couldn’t lift me up, let alone swing me around.

Needless to say, when I turned 24, I wasn’t married. I wasn’t even dating. I didn’t panic though. Per my agenda, I had a whole year to figure things out. But then suddenly, I turned 25. You might say I began to panic. Just ever so slightly.

By this time, I had already been a bridesmaid in approximately 143 weddings — or at least it seemed like that many. These were weddings of friends and classmates from my small Christian college who met their future mates within the first six minutes of freshmen orientation. Was I in the bathroom or something? Because I totally missed that window.

And then I turned 26. Gulp, then 27. And I started to wonder, did God forget about me? I started consuming several pints of ice cream on a weekly basis. Then I remembered something one of my professors said during a class discussion about love. He told us about a woman he met in college. He described her as amazing — exactly what he was looking for. They dated for a while and his love for her grew. He thought she was the perfect woman for him. Then she dumped him. His friends told him not to worry — that God had someone better for him. But he said he was struck with the thought, deep in his heart, that perhaps God had “someone” better for him to be.

There I was, 27 years old, wondering was I the “best” I could be? So, I started to pray. I prayed like never before, that the Lord would prepare my heart for marriage and mold me more fully to His image. Months passed. More pints of ice cream were consumed. And I began to question what really was the will of God for my life regarding marriage. Did He want me to be married? Was this just my hopeful longing — or something He truly desired for me? So I prayed earnestly that He would give me the desires of my heart — not make what I desired magically happen — but that He would place in my heart the very desires He wanted me to have. I prayed that if my dream to be married wasn’t His will for me, He would take that desire away.

Trusting God for your future spouse
Well, the desire to be married did not go away. I decided to choose to find completeness in Christ as a single person. I say “choose” because I knew that for me, this would have to be a decision of the will — at least initially. But, at the same time, I also decided to trust God that someday, I would get married. I began to feel peace as a single person. Yes, I wanted to be married. I even felt ready to be married. But I hadn’t bought a pint of ice cream in months. I was enjoying my current life and felt amazing trust in God’s timing.

I decided to use that time in my life to prepare for marriage. I prayed tirelessly for my future husband, for God to make him ready. I read books on marriage. I sought out married couples I admired and asked them a million questions about marriage: What did they love most about it? What did they find most difficult? What advice could they give me to prepare for it?

I realize this way of thinking is slightly counter cultural. It’s common to hear, “Just be happy. If you’re not married, maybe it’s not meant to be. Get on with your life.” But as a Christian, if you feel called to marriage — if you truly believe God Himself has placed the desire in your heart to be married, then why not actively prepare for it? Why not trust Him that it will happen?

It happened to me. When I turned 28, I met a man and we fell in love. He wasn’t perfect (although his head was a perfect size), and months and months and many, many more months later, he eventually discovered I wasn’t perfect either … but through time spent together and much prayer, we realized we were perfect for each other. We were married shortly after I turned 30. God answered my prayers. It wasn’t the timetable I envisioned as a young girl, but it was the right timing.

Whether married or single, living for Christ is the goal
Marriage should not be the ultimate goal of the Christian life. I do feel blessed that I’m married and experiencing unconditional love from a man. And honestly, I can even appreciate the struggles that cause intense growth … on a good day, anyway. But we’re not going to stand before Christ someday as Mrs. or Mr. So and So. We’re going to stand before Him alone. And we’ll be accountable for the kind of person we are here on earth, whether single or married.

If you are single, you’re not of lesser value as a person. God’s plan will take each of us down different paths, paths to be celebrated. The key is to submit your will to the Lord’s, because living a life that is glorifying to God isn’t about getting what you want. It’s about conforming to what God wants. And that’s where praying — and I mean really praying — about and discerning God’s will for your life regarding marriage becomes critical. If you do feel called to marriage, shouldn’t we see God as big enough to make it happen? It may not be your timetable, but if He put that desire in your heart, is He not worthy of your trust?

Of course, not everyone is called to marriage. I have the utmost admiration for my single friends who are able to minister to others to an extent that wouldn’t be possible if they were married. I consider them heroes in the body of Christ. And not every single person who wants to be married feels unsatisfied or lonely. But the truth is, many do.

To these individuals I say, be encouraged — God has not forgotten about you. “[He] is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Pray that God would be the Author of your dreams. If you believe God has called you to marriage, hold fast to that dream. “God sets the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6a). Use this time now to prepare yourself for marriage. Pray for God to make you — and your spouse-to-be — ready. You can trust God for your future. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And remember, you can find peace and joy in Christ right now knowing that you are — and will always be —his bride


God bless you 

love you  



In the middle September 28, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 2:13 pm


I’m right in the middle of about half a dozen  of so many things . I can speak from experience that the middle is not so glorious.Generally, I start projects with great gusto. Then the pressure to finish sets in.Sometimes I simply lose motivation and the task sits on the back burner indefinitely.

In the middle, you don’t have the freshness—the hope and adrenaline—that comes with new beginnings. And you don’t have the sense of completion or the relief of closure that accompanies the end. In the middle, it’s often a matter of trudging ahead, one foot in front of the other—too far from the start to turn back, and too far from the finish line to even know how much further you have to go, let alone to see the light at the end.

While this middle malaise may be experienced in a job, living situation, ministry, education or almost anything even in status , singleness or marriage middle

I imagine the ending of my single status would be easier than this middle segment too. Not because marriage is easier somehow, but because of the perspective that comes when a chapter is closing. And maybe even more than that, because of the relief in knowing that there is, after all, an ending point to this season. Sometimes I think that’s what gnaws at me most about this stage: that it might not be a stage, after all—that this is going to be it, indefinitely, till death do I part. Because, of all the good and gracious things God has promised me, marriage isn’t one of those guarantees,

Even if I never register at Dannies Bridal shop  or wear a flowy white dress or “upgrade” to Mrs.—my single status will have an ending point. Regardless of how things end up from an earthly perspective, I will be a bride someday. After all this time stuck in the middle of awkward, limited human relationships, each one of us—married or not—will experience true, unconditional love. After all this time of waiting, the time will finally come when we will be the bride of Christ.

I don’t want to underestimate the middle because I  may look back one day and see that it was one of the most important seasons of my  life.




Your Past a waste or Gain ? September 25, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 9:41 am


On my way home yesterday I had a little bit of unrest , a friend called me up to discuss some issues with me , I called back to actually stretchout to explain more when I got home .

Many of us have gone through a lot in the past , we all have done funny stuffs in the past , a lot of commitments  , time , money , energy , life , spirit , soul and body , and then from time to time memories flashes our mind , For  me I could even be lost in thought , and little things can trigger memories like pictures , cards , gifts etc .

But really so many people are trapped up in their past , letting Go is not easy , some even though they had let Go ,but still found out that they still have a path to tread in their past on their way to the future . God’s  ways are not our ways , pretty much why some people date for some years and break up and after sometime they meet again and eventually start all over again .

Does  it mean that the things that has happened in the past is all waste or gain , how do you term is as a gain and when do you term it as waste ? does it mean people who seize opportunites in the past are smarter ? is life that unfair ? I need answers to these for my radio presentation .

I hope to get a feedback from you all soonest

much love



What’s your foundation? September 23, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 12:04 pm

What is your foundation? What is your foundation? No matter what has happened to you in life, God is your foundation. You are not your experiences in and of themselves. You are the product of them. God took you from one place and brought you to another. Remember where you come from, so that you are sure of where you’re going.


I remember a man Peter who denied his master he was an expert in telling lies but he became one of the most popular names in the book of life , the man Moses was a murder he was used to deliver thousands of people from slavery ,Same woman who they castout 7 demons from was the first to see Jesus , Paul a professional persecutor became a great man ,Oprah Winfrey says, “I don’t think of myself as a poor deprived, ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as someone who, from an early age, knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.” You can make good too. Just remember to: •

  • Meditate on his promises. 
  • Put some action behind your faith.
  • Be prepared for your opportunity.
  • Remember where you came from.

Even if you dont turn out the way you wan to turn out , you will still turn out Good .

love you still



The bedrooms in your heart September 18, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 11:44 am


BEDROOMNever did I know I would be doing lots of things today , but one thing I am sure is that It’s not my aim to look for fame in anything I do , my most inspiration is from the  1st to 3rd verses of the 61st chapter of the book of Isaiah, my greatest fear is continuity , but really I dont know why , I dont want to say so much and do less , I dont want to stop ! no stopping now , We  need to master the ability to stay focused in our life , there is everything available to distract us .

There is so much bedroom in my heart to do so many things , everyday and in everyway I think of ways to impact ,even though the best is yet to come ,I  try to live  on the edge and on the fast lane , I  had to have a meeting with  myself , take notes , and the number of notes you take or put down doesnt determine your output , we need to be persistent  and organised ,the only way we know anything is doing it ,and I can tell you DOING is not very EASY , I am a withness , when I put my thoughts down, I commit myself , so no going back .

At times we wish we weere this and that , after watching the guy who won 10million naira on who wants to be a millonaire , I started wishing it was me , I even planned what I would do with the money , when I woke up from my WISH DREAM LAND , I concluded I dont need a WISHBONE  i need a BACKBONE, if you are receieving vibes to do so many things its better you start , NOW !!!! , I dont intend telling people what to do , manipulate or  control or force , its high time we have to stop doing something about something we cant do anything about , let God be God and men be men .BE2

There is always comfort for your waste places , your wilderness can be like EDEN  ,and  your desert like the Gaden of the Lord , if God is laying 20 bedrooms in your heart know that if he brings you to it be can bring you through it .

  • if there is a BEDROOM to speak …..speak
  • if there is a bedroom for business …..do it
  • if there is a bedroom to teach …teach
  • if there is a bedroom to help people …help
  • if there is a bedroom to lead …become a leader
  • if there is abedroom to write …..write
  • if there is bedroom to dance ……dance
  • if there is a bedroom for soccer …play football

The list is endless .You are the best resource in the whole world

God bless you have a nice weekend

Join me next week for Power series




Quotes about life September 17, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 7:34 am

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.life
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

May you live a beautiful live




I chose love and I’m here September 14, 2009

Filed under: Life — charmingff @ 7:44 am


. love sun

 I had a very stressful weekend , I had to show up to play a role in Toastmasters , but its a new week, I had this thing in my mind I needed to share , We all have a choice, Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve heard all the praise surrounding the movie Slumdog Millionaire. One of the most fascinating aspects of the film is actually the soundtrack and the story of its composer, A. R. Rahman. He won two Oscars for his work on the score and when accepting his second award, his words were short and to the point: “All my life I had a choice of hate and love. I chose love and I’m here.” Powerful words to be sure, but what do they mean?

For me, it’s quite simple. Everyday we have the opportunity to be positive or negative influences in our universe. Each day we are confronted with the chance to build up and support or knock down and destroy. Which course do you take?


When your  babe / guy comes to you with an idea she is extra excited about. Do you quickly point out all flaws and why it will never work, or do you tell her it’s awesome and ask how you can help her make it happen? Love or Hate? A co-worker announces that she’s getting married and enthusiastically shows her ring. Do you let them know you’re happy for them, or do whisper to colleagues that the ring probably is fake? Love or Hate? You are super close with your sister and she gets an amazing job offer across the country. Do you give her a major guilt trip trying to get her to stay or do you send her off with your best wishes and a big party? Love or Hate?

Its better not to miss the opportunity of choosing love all the time , I have been there and I know how it feels , and believe me I know better now ,God is love ,We are constantly given these opportunities to choose and the path you choose has an impact not only on you, but those you interact with. Just think about how differently we receive someone that flashes a smile instead of a scowl. Now think of living your life as that smile.


But make no mistake; this is NOT the 80’s mantra “don’t worry, be happy.” Acting with love doesn’t mean that you view the world through roses and act as if our troubles and conflicts don’t exist. That would be silly. Choosing love allows us to act in affirmation. To support and love, but to also protest and demonstrate. To lift someone up, but to also let someone know what he said wasn’t cool. When I express outrage about our leaders , it is not because I hate  them . My motivation comes from a love of justice and respect for the human community.

So what does it mean to walk in love? It means support your friend, congratulate your co-worker and be happy for your sister. It means, love and respect yourself while respecting others around you and the space they occupy. It means thinking about how to make things better while understanding that someone else’s success doesn’t insure your failure. It also means confronting injustice, standing up for what’s right and realizing that hate only destroys the hater.

chinese love

Choosing this path doesn’t make you weak. Truly, only those of the strongest character can choose love every time. I am not there yet (especially when I’m behind the wheel, it’s very hard to find love there!) and just like you, each day I have the opportunity to do better. Everyday I have the choice between love and hate. Today, I choose Love.



love you